Chinese
French
German
Italian
Japanese
Korean
Russian
Spanish
In just a matter of weeks, US death metal kings Cannibal Corpse will be laying waste to the UK on our Destroyers Of The Faith tour, bringing with them Tom G Warrior’s mighty Triptykon, progressive black metallers Enslaved and death metallers Job For A Cowboy! Grab your Destroyers Of The Faith tickets here!
To celebrate the arrival of one of the greatest extreme metal acts of them all (and, y’know, seeing as it’s Friday 13th), we’ve trundled through blood, boobs and bell ends aplenty to find ten album covers that make us want to throw our guts up and run screaming to the hills. Read on…if you dare. Mwa ha ha ha etc.
(WARNING: THIS IS NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART. THIS IS PROPER GNARLY AND CONTAINS EXPLICIT ART AND IMAGES. YOU HAVE NOW OFFICIALLY BEEN WARNED. OK ENOUGH CAPITALS)
——————
Cannibal Corpse – Butchered At Birth
Let’s be honest; no one does album covers like Destroyers headliners Cannibal Corpse, and even by their standards, 1991’s ‘Butchered At Birth’ is an absolute doozy. Featuring dozens of strung up corpses and two rather grim looking fellows delivering a dead baby from a hacked-up woman (we told you it wouldn’t be pleasant), unsurprisingly, this caused a bit of a stir on release. Gross.
Carcass – Reek of Putrefaction
What’s worst than a gory illustration depicting plenty of dead bodies? Real, actual dead bodies, of course! Cheers Carcass. If there’s one thing we can’t get enough of, it’s photos of dead bodies. Oh God….
Cattle Decapitation – Humanure
Because nothing says deathgrind like a cow shitting out its minging, bloodied, human-filled innards. Also, for a cow that’s presumably just eaten a couple of people and then dropped a mother of a pat like that, it’s looking suspiciously nonchalant. What’s up with that?! Stupid cow.
CLICK HERE TO BUY YOUR DESTROYERS OF THE FAITH TICKETS
Whitesnake – Lovehunter
We’re not sure what makes us feel more uneasy about this one from Whitesnake: the fact that there’s a big, fuck-off snake shagging a naked woman, or that David Coverdale ever, ever thought this would be a good idea. It’s not gory, but it’s not right.
Cannibal Corpse – Tomb Of The Mutilated
Yep. Them again. So to just quickly sum this one up: a couple engaging in a bit of fun have somehow ended up gutted and slashed up, while still seemingly caught “in the moment”. We reckon that bloke definitely got more than he bargained for. Kinky.
——–
Okay. We’re going to take a break here and give you a heads up that the next one contains girls and what we assume is meant to be faeces. Technically speaking, it’s not explicit, but it’s genuinely gross, and it took us a while to decide if we could really justify including it, even in a list like this.
Seriously, it’s really gross.
So now you know.
—-
Torsofuck – Erotic Diarrhoea Fantasy
We told you. Sorry.
CLICK HERE TO BUY YOUR DESTROYERS OF THE FAITH TICKETS
Regurgitate – Carnivorous Erection
Yeah…we just…….w……..we don’t even know what to say. It’s a hungry cock. This is getting ridiculous.
Iron Monkey – Our Problem
Iron Monkey are fucking bad ass, and to be fair, this pullout from their ‘Our Problem’ album doesn’t make us gag so much as laugh our tits off. It’s the detail that’s the winner with this one: from the demon plane thingy holding up a cock which has a man hanging from it who is injecting a big gorilla dude with his penis, into a penis, surrounded by – yeah, you get the picture.
Goblin Cock – Bagged And Boarded
Despite the name, at first glance we didn’t really see anything in this one to put us off our dinner. Until we noticed the huge green and purple pierced dong hanging out of the bottom of that guy’s kilt. Brilliant. Just what the world needs. Big floppy goblin dicks. Nice.
We don’t even know who this guy is but this just isn’t on. Sorry.
0 comments:
Post a Comment